Daniel Craig Channels Brett Butler for Gender Equality

Daniel Craig recently dressed in drag for an ad supporting gender equality.  Narrarated by Dame Judy Dench, who plays “M” in the Bond movies, Craig seemingly appears in the ad as James Bond but later appears in drag.  For me, I thought Brett Butler had crawled out of whatever cave she’s been hiding in…

If you don’t know who Brett Butler is and would like a comparative view, check out the video below:

Pretty damn similar-looking huh?

Look at the Good I Do…

If you’re having a bad day…if you ever have a bad day, period, watch this video.  Everyone loves a good, dubbed, exercise video from the 80s.  I give you “Brenda’s Verjeen.”

In Honor of Mardi Gras…

I was watching TMZ tonight and saw a clip about a little person that poses as Mr. T in Hollywood.  While I couldn’t find a decent, share-able clip of that fantastic, mohawk-sporting little person, I did run across this episode of Mr. T’s cartoon show, which surprisingly, I remembered seeing from when I was a tyke.

For those of you who don’t know, Mr. T. is another Hollywood personality phenomenon who created the strange line between actor, athlete, novelty personality that is now walked by men like The Rock, John Cena, and Vern Troyer (he may not be an athlete but his notoriety closely mirrors that of Mr. T in the late 70s/early 80s).  Mr. T is famous for his role as B.A. Baracaus in “The A Team” and as boxer Clubber Lang in Rocky III.  Little known fact, Mr. T got his start in Hollywood working as a bodyguard for  Muhummed Ali, Diana Ross, and Steve McQueen.  Also, in 1984, Mr. T released an album called “Mr. T’s Commandments”, which instructed kids to stay away from drugs and to stay in school.

Watch Mr T in Magical Mardi Gras Mystery! in Animation  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

"Winning" Playlist

To point out that Charlie Sheen ironically lost, I mean won, his job on “2 1/2 Half Men” today, I thought I’d put together a “Winning” playlist to commemorate the occasion.  The songs listed below are all about being a winner.  Kinda makes you think how the song might be different had Charlie Sheen written the song with his magical fingertips in tiger’s blood.

1. “I Fought the Law” – The Clash
2. “We Are the Champions” – Queen
3. “The Winner Takes it All” – ABBA
4. “Winning” – Santana
5. “All I Do is Win” – DJ Khaled feat. Ludacris
6. “Simply the Best” – Tina Turner
7.  “Bad” – Michael Jackson
8. “Fame” – David Bowie
9. “$ucce$$” – Dannii Minogue

And last but not least…
10. “Eye of the Tiger” – Survivor

Also, did anyone else happen to check out Sheen’s new Ustream show, “Crazy Korner?”  I got a huge kick out of one of the “goddesses” boringly reading a magazine in the background.  See below…

The Evolution Continues: Making a Bald Head Look Cool

The news of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s impending nuptials has been all over the TV, Internet, and magazines. Straight women everywhere are giddy over the opportunity to witness a “royal wedding” (everytime I say that phrase, I now say it in a British accent, a´la Helena Bonham Carter).

Personally, anytime I see pictures of Williams and Kate, I only think about one thing: damn he’s getting bald! After doing a Google search on “Prince William balding,” I’ve found that Kate Middleton has obviously influenced Prince William’s attention to his ever-increasingly shiny dome. The first picture I’ve posted is the most recent, and as you look at the other photos, which are arranged from newest to oldest, Prince William has obviously started “Rogaine-ing” a lead in race against balding time.

 

What’s also interesting to note is how Prince William styles his hair to take focus away from his obvious propensity towards hair-loss.  Unlike, his father, who sports a bitchin’ comb-over, William goes with what I like to call the “tussled” look, which involves a manic application of hair product to give one’s coif that “I just rolled out of bed after having sex” kind of look.  We can now see that this is the next step in the evolutionary trend of balding hair styles, which I have chronicled below.  Like fashion itself, balding hair styles move in cycles.

The Shaved Head aka Beating Heredity to the Punch: by far my favorite look for balding men, to the point where I often get lady-wood when I see the men pictured below (except Gandhi, but only because I do not see him as a sexual being, and because that makes me feel skeezy).

     

There are celebrities who have completely effed up this simple non-hair style:

  

Part The Follicular Sea: when balding men say, “Screw it! If I’m bald, I’m gonna be bald!”.  The men below have pulled this off so well that they end up being considered sexy, funny, charming, or you don’t even notice that they’re missing hair from 70% on the central region of their heads.

   

 

The Comb-Over: I’ve never understood this tactic towards combating baldness.  When you commit to the comb-over just know, water and wind are your two biggest enemies.  There’s nothing more embarrassing than seeing a man’s comb-over lifted like a tin-roof in a gusty wind, or seeing a comb-over turn into a wet, flaccid clump of hair sliding down the side of a man’s hair after jumping in the pool.

    

The Tussle aka Peach Fuzz aka The Peninsula: As I mentioned in reference to Prince William, this balding hair-style is characterized by a messy look that serves as a illusion for one’s baldness.  Kind of like writing “I hate you” on a note to a classmate, but then drawing 3-4 lines over it as a means of making it illegible.  Putting a few scratches over your hateful note doesn’t mean your friend can’t tell what it says.  And just because you apply some caulking putty to your peach fuzz, it doesn’t mean we can’t tell you’ve got some open real estate up there.  The Peninsula can be found solo or in combination with the Tussle/Peach Fuzz look and in characterized by a peninsula-like formation of hair at the center of the scalp and often resembles the shapes of the following states: Florida, Alaska, Michigan, or Maine.  But plenty of men look great with this style:

 

  

Honorable Mentions: Crazy hair, lesbian comb-overs, do-rags, cowboy hats, hair pieces, and the no-hair hawk.

  

  

Proof the Internet Thinks You’re Stupid

Stumbled across this gem of a spam ad today while cruising the Internet.  The fact that this ad asks whether or not to vote on this image’s authenticity is an amazing insult (or perhaps incredibly accurate estimation?) of society’s intelligence.  However, I could be bitter because I always wanted a yellow lab small enough to fit in my fanny pack, you know, baked-potato-sized, and this photo is just making a mockery of my hopes and dreams.

Golden Girls Episode Flashback of the Week

I LOVE Golden Girls!!!  I mean, what’s not to love?  It is one of the best TV shows of all-time, hands down.  It was way ahead of it’s time in terms of character arcs, storylines, dialogue, and sexual references.  As a tribute to this bad-ass show, I will post a Golden Girls episode flashback each week.  Starting with the first season, I will provide an episode summary/commentary of the episode that aired exactly on this week all those years ago.  If I can find clips, I will certainly post.  Just a little something to add a “golden” ray of sunshine to your day (pun intended).

This week’s episode is highly appropriate given that so many people have been sick with a cold or flu.

“Flu Attack”, Episode 121, 1985.  A week before an awards ceremony for the Volunteer of the Year, Blanche, Dorothy and Rose each come down with a nasty flu, which compounds their arguing over who will win the prestigious award. Meanwhile, Sophia is having a hard time coming up with a date for the event. (I actually found the entire episode on YouTube!)

Memorable quotes:
Blanche: [the girls have the flu] Dorothy, where’s my heating pad?
Dorothy: How should I know?
Blanche: [she holds up an electrical cord] Well if this isn’t it, I’d like to know what other electrical appliance you’re using under that blanket

Dorothy: Blanche, you can’t have it! I need it, my chest is congested!

Blanche: Well what about my chest? It needs heats too.

Dorothy: I don’t care about your chest! I only care about my chest!

Blanche: Well you’re the only one who does.

Sophia Petrillo: What’re you doing?
Rose Nylund: We’re having a group hug, Sophia.
Sophia Petrillo: Well knock it off, the neighbors are going to get the wrong idea.

Blanche: I never get sick. I take very good care of myself, I treat my body like a temple.

Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone day or night.

Superstars Donate Gaddafi Money to Avoid Looking Shallow

Last week, in a WikiLeaks article published in the New York Times exposed some of the monetary shenanigans (love that word) of the Qaddafi family, which include paying Mariah Carey $1million to sing at Seif-Al-Islam el-Qaddafi’s party in St. Barts and spending $1.8 million to establish a personal militia.

Since the publication of this article, it has come out that several pop-stars have been paid big-bucks to perform for the Gaddafi family over the years, including Usher, Nelly Furtado, and Beyonce´. To avoid looking like they will perform for anyone, no matter what the cost (see also: shallow, greedy, without morals, etc.), these stars are rushing to donate money to charities to excuse themselves for ever being patrons of the Gaddafi family. I find it fascinating when celebrities’ charitable behavior is motivated by publicist-induced guilt.

However, I can recall a time when I was once railed by a staunch, feminist lesbian for being a patron of strip-clubs, which I felt like was a completely acceptable way to spend my time and money. Unfortunately, I later fell victim to feminist-induced guilt over my debaucherous behavior and donated a few bucks (approximately $30) to the “Lapdances for My Kid’s Dance Classes Charity,” which is located at your local strip club. If you’d like to donate too, talk to any exotically-dressed female at a strip club named Veronica, Diamond, Tiffani, Destiny, Cherry, Lexus, or Cinnamon. This charity helps hard-working mothers raise money for their kid’s dance classes by providing lap dances. It’s about the kids people, after-all, the children are our future.

Melissa Gilbert and husband, Bruce Boxleitner split

Okay, I totally expect that some of you are saying, “Who?” or “Who the hell cares?”  Ahahaha, my friends, this is my first lesson in pop culture history.  In case you don’t know who Melissa Gilbert is (Bruce Boxleitner really isn’t that important here), let me bring you up to speed.  Melissa Gilbert was on a show called “Little House on the Prairie”, which in the late 70s was the non-equivalent of Modern Family since it wasn’t modern for the 70s (it took place in the post-Civil War period out West) and featured no gay characters (that were out, hint: Albert).  Watch the following clip to see Gilbert as Laura Ingles, also known as “Half Pint” to her Pa, Michael Landon.

Gotta love the mud fight…this scene would have a direct influence on TV cat-fights in years to come…

Melissa Gilbert was the break-out star of the show and for many years was a Hollywood darling.  Since then she has travelled the traditional route for actresses who were once a big deal in the 70s: actress in a series of Lifetime Movies (see also Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith, Cheryl Ladd, Jane Seymour, Kate Jackson, Stephanie Powers, and Valerie Bertinelli to name a few).  Sidenote, it’s interesting that all four, major Charlie’s Angels actresses went on to impressive careers in made-for-tv movies.  Could this be a curse?  I think so.  Minka Kelly, Kelly Brook, and Rachael Taylor, you’ve been warned (yep, Charlie’s Angels is being remade for TV; keep your eyes out for the pilot, possibly this summer).

Ok, back to my point regarding Melissa Gilbert…this is an interesting story to me because of two things.  1) This is another example of what was a seemingly rock-solid marriage that has lasted many years (Boxleitner and Gilbert met on LHOTP but got married in 1995) crumbling at our pop-obsessed feet.  Apparently, you can’t make your marriage last in Hollywood unless you are a Scientologist…but that’s because the idea of being picked up by the Lord Voltron’s spaceship earlier than anyone else because you’ve maintained your sacred, “drinking the funky Koolaid” vows, is pretty appealing.
2) The Main Reason: look at her face in that picture!  OMG, hellooooooo plastic surgery!  When I first saw this picture, I thought it was a hybrid of Melissa Rivers and Joan Rivers, but no!  It wasn’t a Rivers family member at all!  A few years ago, I worked a press tour for a really shitty movie called “Against the Ropes” starring Meg Ryan.  My job was to be Ms. Ryan’s gopher, her job was to be extremely difficult and bear a striking resemblance to Jack Nicholson as “The Joker” in Batman.  She had recently had a face lift and a large amount of Restalin injected in her lips.  In honor of the above photo, I now induct Melissa Gilbert into my very own “Your Plastic Surgery Mistakes Make You Look Like a Comic Book Villain” Hall of Fame!!

P.S. Am I the only person who realized upon looking at Bruce Boxleitner: “That’s probably what Bruce Jenner would look like today if he had also stayed out from unda da knife?”  Just sayin’.  Speaking of Bruce Jenner, if you could pick a comic book villain that he resembles most, who would it be?

Welcome!

I’m glad you’re here, whether your bored at work, sitting at an airport, in the bathroom, or wasting time on your couch, I hope this blog keeps you entertained for average attention span of adults: 13.4 seconds.

What you can expect to see here: my own musings on current pop culture happenings, flashbacks in pop culture, random trivia and facts, anything regarding food, and completely useless information in general.

Feel free to make topic suggestions or comments as feedback is very welcome…if it’s completely positive and strokes my ego.

P.S. if you can’t tell by the picture to the left, I effin’ love ice cream…and my birthday is this month…hint.  And if that hint isn’t obvious enough, please go to www.graeters.com.  I prefer Peanut Butter Chip and Buckeye Blitz.

k-thnx, Jenn (aka The Pop Pundit)